self centered realization number 495738952905

i used to feel a certain way when someone i know died. i always thought i should be feeling a certain way, crying, or be depressed. i don't know if i can chalk my feelings now up to being sober or just being older, but i'm much more ok with just letting myself feel however i feel. when jason told me that my aunt carol died yesterday i cried. i was at work and my boss let me go home early. i went home and called some family members, my mom, my stepmother, dad, and brother. i cried a little bit more, but mostly when i heard the sadness in others voices. i've never lost anybody that i spent a lot of time with. my grandfather died last march and now my aunt, who was young and died of liver cancer after a nine year battle with breast cancer. so this time i understand that its my job to comfort those in more pain than myself rather than to be all introspective and critical of my own reaction.