emo shit will try to TRICK YOU!

emotions are so crazy. floating around unwarranted and mostly pretty irrational (well mine are anyways) for us to sort through and make sense of. i used to act on my insane emotions all of the time, in fact i trusted them with a lot of decisions that i made in my life with regard to relationships and how i took care of myself. acting on my emotions got me nowhere but medicated and depressed and going nowhere. i'd love to say that i don't do that anymore, but it's simply not true. i absolutely react on my emotions and make bad decisions based on them. the difference now is that i have an awareness that my emotions are not to always be trusted. what i do differently now is try to wrangle those motherfuckers and let them go without causing too much damage to myself and those around me. that's half the battle in my everyday life these days. but let me tell you, i've got the right support and the right resources now. that is something i'm positive of. and for me not to utilize those resources would be ignorant on my part.
emotional sobriety is one of the biggest challenges in my newly sober life. i've started meditating, being more serious about asking for humble direction from a god of my understanding, and doing a weekly self inventory with a therapist, and keeping journals for all of the rest of that emotional crap that's left over trying to TRICK ME!
BUT a little bird in the form of a big blue book told me that prayer, meditation, and self inventory builds an unshakeable foundation for life. and i believe it. my shit will someday be UNSHAKEABLE. watch the fuck out! :)

brogs are back!

i recently disabled viewing of this blog as per radical suggestion from a trusted friend, but then i thought better of it. mostly because i've read that i am to avoid hysterical advice. i'm not afraid of the internet!

things of note that have changed and that are important to me recently are as follows and then i've gotta go to work:

1. i fuckin' tattoo! it's so weird. i was tattooing this guy tom (who is going to end of sleeved by me if he keeps coming back like he has) and i had a moment where i was just amazed that i was doing a tattoo on some guy that i drew that he was going to pay me for. it just seems like it shouldn't be allowed. that it should be against the law or something.

2. i tattooed at the pgh meeting of the marked. erich foster from rise above tattoo in buffalo new york gave me the sweetest cry baby head in the ditch of my knee. i offered to tattoo him because he wouldn't take any money and he accepted! i was a ball of nerves, but i put a solid tattoo on him even though it was only about the size of a quarter.

3. i've been painting a lot and have been so much more motivated and satisfied with what i've been doing lately. i've been told that painting is like tattooing's little sister and that one helps the other. i've been noticing that i've been growing leaps and bounds with every painting and every tattoo that i do.

4. my schedule at starbucks is finally set and i work three days have one day off totally and tattoo three days. it's absolutely perfect and i couldn't have asked for a better schedule.

got my hair did and it's red. i'm not sure how i feel about it. i think i'm over dying my hair. i'm ok with it now, but i don't think i'll be doing it in the future. i also quit smoking on aug 20th! cold turkey and haven't picked one up no matter what since. unfortunately i've gained 7.4 lbs since then, but i'm back on track and hopefully that won't continue.