Saturday, October 25, 2008
fat
i feel really funny today. i don't know if it's the cut down in caffeine, but i'm depressed and my head feels all fuzzy. i've been so down on myself lately, and i've not even been off my diet for a month. today was the first day in awhile that i could wear clothes that aren't clothes to go to work in and i got so upset at my body. i hate feeling like this, i feel so huge and unattractive. ugh i just had to say it. i was at the shop and i just had to leave, nothing was going to make me feel better. i'm back to weight watchers even though i just want to eat everything in the world.
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2 comments:
You're neither HUGE nor UNATTRACTIVE. Dieting sucks balls and is a hard as fuck. I think the thing that helped me was just keeping a ton of food around that I CAN eat a bunch of. Carrots, celery, etc... I also only let myself eat out once a week and that's my reward for not being a pig.
Whatev. Don't sweat.
Also... You should probably just drink as much coffee as possible. That's always the best idea.
thanks chris. i know what i need to do, and i fully realize it's in my control. i've just been lazy. it is the hardest thing to do ever. it's even harder than not drinking or doing drugs because i can totally avoid those things. i can't avoid having to eat. thanks though, it made me feel better.
coffee is one of my favorite things in the world, but i was totally abusing it. i think i was drinking about a pot a day plus at least ten shots of espresso while at work. it was making me feel totally awful. i'm managing.
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